Funne and the dilemma that comes with it

To those of you that might not know what that word means as I might not have spelt it correctly; it is basically an accent used to speak English by somebody that is not a Nigerian. But as in everything there are levels, also in funne there are levels. British and American funnes are the most respected while at the bottom of the list are our neighbouring countries Ghana and Cameroun with the least respect but Nigeria is probably on the bottom of their own funne lists as well.

As I have temporarily relocated to jand (England), I have newly acquired my own style of funne as I have had to interact with people who would not have understood my Nigerian accent. Now, we approach the problem.

By God's grace I will be going to Nigeria sometime during the year. When I get there I will see my old friends. If I talk with funne to them, they will abuse me because they will think I am trying to feel superior to them with my new found accent. Their insults will go along the lines of "Look at you, when did you land jand that your accent has changed like this are you now too big to speak like a Nigerian, sqqqqqqq(hiss)?" and they will go on to make other such hurtful comments.

On the other hand, if I speak with my normal Nigerian accent, I can not gauge the amount of insults I will get because of this but it is most definite that I will pack insults (to speak colloquially) along the lines of "See this raz (below uncool) girl. You are too raw (local). So you have gone to jand (England) and you have still not been able to change this your bush (village like) accent" and they will go on to make more hurtful comments about me.

The point is that, which ever path I choose to go down, derisive comments are still waiting for me somwhere along the way. To speak or not to speak, that is my own question.